Skip to main content

Not an Easter Column



It was my intention to give you all an Easter themed column this week. I had an idea fully fleshed out in my head, and even had the team over at Andy Enterprises run it by the focus group and test market it. Yet when it came time to actually construct the column, I was unable to finish it in time. For the first time the final mix up brought up some rather sad business, I had to let some of the team over at Andy Enterprises go. Then I felt about about that, hired them back, and they sued me for firing them in the first place. It was all settled out of court, over a game of Scrabble.

So why is this not an Easter column? What could have possibly transpired that resulted in legal action and Scrabble? I'll tell you. I was going to write a column about finding an engagement ring in an Easter Egg. Andy Enterprises even was on the horn to the Hallmark Channel to negotiate the movie rights for some light and airy TV movie that would air next year, with a title like “The Easter Bride”. While that was going on, I began work on the actual column itself.

My writing day that day was just like any other. I was locked away in my office, typing my little heart out. Then something usual happened. My cat came into the room and hopped right up on my desk. What's odd about this? Nothing really, he sometimes does this. It was odd because this was a Wednesday, and that's the day he spends listening to his “BeeGees for Cats” record I bought him last year. He indicated that he wanted me to follow him, and I did.

It seems he wanted to tell me that someone was at the door. It was my Aunt, arms full with her three year old granddaughter. She too was in the middle of a hectic day, and needed someone to watch little Vanessa. Guess who got to watch little Vanessa? Yep. Me. Now overall, I'm pretty good with kids. If all else fails, I'll just put on “Pee-Wee's Playhouse” and make sure the child doesn't injure themselves.

But it's not that easy when you have to look after little Vanessa, because little Vanessa seems to think that my legs are punching bags. She waved to my aunt with a sweet smile as she left, but the moment the door was closed, it was punch city all on my legs. Granted, this is a three year old we're talking about, so it's more of a minor annoyance than it is inflicting any physical harm. She moves with me though, punching right along. I make my way to the kitchen to get her a juice box, and she punches me all the time.

The punching ends when I give her a juice box, then she just sits on my couch, watches PBS Sprout, and stares at my cat. So there went my writing day. Could I have gotten it written over the weekend? Maybe, but it was a busy weekend. I had a birthday party to attend, and I had a sold out crowd coming to listen to my lecture “Cultivating a Rubber Duck Collection for Fun and Profit”.

And so this is not an Easter column. No stories of aunts ruining ham, or any of that madness. However I hope that you do have a good easter, indulge in some ham, or perhaps those tasty chocolate eggs that I can't seem to stop eating.

Comments

  1. Now I can think of nothing but licking the chocolate egg goo off of a big diamond engagement ring.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Convincing Yourself You're Good.

I have Imposter Syndrome. Imposter Syndrome is that feeling that what you do isn't good enough, and that someone is gonna eventually figure out how woefully unqualified you are and kick you to the curb. One of the traits of my personality that I dislike is that I am way too hard on myself. Seriously, give my mind an inch and I will somehow figure out that I am the sole person responsible for the world's troubles.

Having Imposter Syndrome is kind of like playing the game Werewolf. My friends and I play a version of the game called One Night Ultimate Werewolf, in the game each player picks a card that gives them a specific role, either a villager or a werewolf, and the villagers all have distinct roles that they play on top of that--special abilities and the like. The object of the game is two fold, if you're a werewolf, you don't wanna be caught. If you're a village, you wanna catch the werewolves. Imposter Syndrome makes you feel like you're always in the role…

Where The Blues Are

I come to you again this week with another pair of blu-rays from those master celluloid handlers at Warner Archive. First up we have 1960’s “Where The Boys Are,” a defining teen picture of the era by MGM, and the film largely responsible for kicking off the whole cycle of 1960s beach films. The other is 1955’s “Pete Kelly’s Blues” a film starring, produced, and directed by Jack Webb--TV’s Joe Friday. Part of a deal Webb had made with Warner Brothers when he was setting up the original big screen version of “Dragnet” in the ‘50s. 
“Where The Boys Are” was set for the screen before the book it was based on had been released. Producer Joe Pasternak snatched up the rights to the book by Glendon Swarthout, which was originally titled “Unholy Spring.” Pasternak, strongly feeling “Where The Boys Are” would be the better title, persuaded Swarthout to change the book’s title. Pasternak also felt he could use the film as a starring vehicle for one of the stars of MGM’s record label, Connie Franc…

Twelve-Nine-Three

Picture it! Scilly, 1922! OK, actually Andy Ross’s Childhood Bedroom 1993. I had been given as a gift the dream attachment for my beloved Sega Genesis, the amazing Sega CD. For those of you young children who have only grown up in the era of XBox and Playstation, it may seem strange that there was once a time when the idea of playing a video game off of a compact disc was mind blowing. But it was, and I was fully ready to have my mind blown. To use a slogan of Sega’s ads of the era, I was ready to enter “The Next Level.”

The Sega CD model I had was the second one, the smaller model designed to go with the slimmer Genesis that had been introduced to the market. I had the first Genesis, the larger one, but the Sega CD came with an extension block that allowed it to partner it on the original model. You attached the Sega CD to your Genesis by a special connector on the side of system. The Sega CD came with a game to get you going, as was the norm with gaming systems at the time. The game …