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Look Out, Honey! Cuz we're Using Technology.


I found myself in the market for a new computer. Why? Because when your current computer acts slow, freezes up, and does things that annoy you to the point of pondering jumping off your roof—it's time for a change. I don't ask for much out of my computer. I need a good computer, but I don't need a “super computer” with a mind of its own. The last thing I need is to be coming home late one night, try to open my garage door, and a computer say “I'm sorry, Andy, but I'm afraid I can not do that.”

I'm no technical luddite by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm also not nearly competent enough to be in charge of any serious super powered bit of technology. I can't program in binary code, and if Pixar would let me in to do some work for them, I might be able to make a blob that kinda, sorta, looks like Hong Kong Phooey. The biggest pull for me with a new computer, is one that can handle all my media without hesitation. My current computer has a little difficulty with iTunes. Each time I go to play a track, whilst web browsing or using Word, it starts to freeze and stutter.

In today's digital landscape, there's two questions you have to ask yourself before buying a new computer. Mac or PC? Those who swear by a Mac, will tell you that it is the greatest thing since sliced bread. There's a few little portable things in my household with an Apple logo on them, so a Mac is not at all out of the question. There's the PC hounds who hold the openness of their brand of computer up in high regard like it's a scene from The Lion King. They say things to you like “Don't be wack! Don't get a mac!”, it also seems these PC fans are unaware that it's not longer 1993 outside.

A quick jaunt around YouTube will yield a load of videos from people all passionately telling you why you'd best stick to that PC, dagnabbit! One video I saw had a man sitting at his desk, calmly explaining why you could get the PC of your dreams if you tried. There was one problem with this video, the camera work was rather shaky. A little into the video, a tiny text banner appeared at the bottom of the screen that read: “Sorry for the shaky picture, my son was holding the camera.” Seems he knows everything there is to know about a PC, but couldn't figure out how to make a makeshift tripod.

I'm not knocking anyone on either side of this spectrum. If you like your PC, great. If you like your, Mac; Great as well. Once I knew I was pretty much set on what to look for, I decided to do the thing that I always do before making a purchase over $100. Research, and over-analyze the crap out of it—it's an Andy Ross speciality! I'll read all the writings from the people who say it's the best computer ever, and then I'll read the ones who criticize the computer in question within an inch of its life.

I'll poll all my tech savvy friends. Soon after bugging the crap out of them with my questions, it soon became clear to me what kind of computer I would really enjoy, and get the most benefit out of. An iMac. Yep. I decided to make that big switch over to a Mac. The oddest thing was the number of friends who were shocked that I DIDN'T have a Mac. “But you're a writer!” they exclaimed, “Macs are designed for creative people!!"

Now I'm sure those of you who are hell bent on having a PC are shaking your heads right now that I went happily down Apple lane. Granted, they are on the um, higher scale of things. So anxious was I over the justifications of spending so much on a computer, I thought I might need to be admitted into a nursing home for a few weeks of rest, old people smell, and bland Jell-O. A kindly nurse would inform me that it was time for my sponge bath, and I would just point at the wall with my mouth open like it was the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Amazingly, I kept control of my senses all during the purchasing process. Granted, I had to be hooked up to an oxygen tank once I got in the car, but still, I made it without any loss in the extremities. So here we are! A new computer, and quite possibly the first computer 100% fit for my needs since my much beloved 1997 Packard Bell PC, back in the days when Dial Up was revolutionary. So friends, I hope you enjoy whatever techy device you use most, my old PC went to my folks, who have been secretly wanting a “learners model”. Still, they phone me about nine times a day with questions.


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