I've begun to notice that I'm getting a little klutzy as I get older. I don't think it's a sign of any mental deterioration on my part. It just seems that sometimes while eating lunch, my brain likes to signal my body to throw my fork cross the table without asking for my consent. I have no clue as to why this happens, but it does. It's getting to the point that when I go out on a date with someone, I find myself having to hand them a little card which reads: “Thank you for having dinner with me on this fine evening, should I impale you with a piece of cutlery, please realize that it's completely unintentional. Enjoy your meal.”
I wonder if there's a connection to this and my increased intake of coffee I've been experiencing lately. It seems that once or twice a year, I'll go through a period when I'm drinking more than my usual share, and it'll often wind up giving me the “three o'clock shakes”. On an average morning, I drink around two cups of coffee. However, it's a mug that holds around a good 16 ounces worth of coffee. So by the time I'm in a rare mood, and drink four cups of coffee, I'm a little on edge in the afternoon.
The coffee will make my hands shake, just ever so. Only noticeable if you really stop and look. In addition to the shakes, it will trigger my nerves a little bit. Friends invite me out for a nice Fall picnic, and I show up in a giant sun hat and covered in a tarp, because I fear that “bright glowing orb in the sky”. So far this all has been limited to the motor skills in my hands. I've yet to have fallen down because of this, or found myself waking up in a park with no recollection of how I got there.
This is not to say that there hasn't been at least one “incident” in which I took a tumble. At a friend's birthday party around a month ago, there was a small stage with a live karaoke band. This was all set up in her backyard, very simple, very nice. Most of the party guests had taken a turn, or in some cases three, at the microphone. After a few turns of people belting out hit after hit after hit, in varying degrees of success, came the prodding for me to take the stage and sing something.
Being a shy little introvert, with a touch of social anxiety, I waved everyone off with the “I'll ruin the party if I sing” line. Yet, people still insisted. I wasn't going to give in, until a redhead I found myself particularly attracted to asked me to sing something. Suddenly I went from Mr. Shy in the Corner to “I will sing ALL THE SONGS!” I took the stage, and began to belt out that 1980s classic “876-5309/Jenny”.
Much to my shock, the sound of my voice did not cause anyone to flee in horror. Instead the crowd seemed to be enjoying it, and I started feeling so confident in my self, that I began to move about on stage a little. However, there is such a thing as overconfidence, and that's what happened when I somehow foolishly convinced myself to take a stage dive at one high point in the song. In my brain, I though it would be one of those really impressive moves that would make the redhead want to have dinner with me. In actuality, I crashed into the redhead, and landed face down in the potato salad.