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Servo on the Shelf

You know this plucky fellow right? Of course you do! He's your old buddy Tom Servo from that little slice of genius known to one and all as Mystery Science Theater 3000! In recent years one of the most popular trends for young American children around Christmastime has been Elf on the Shelf. Which is an uber creepy doll that "comes to life at night and repots on your behavior to Santa." I suppose it's all well a good, but next thing you know little Timmy is wearing a tin foil hat and trying to fight off the Kaiser.

That's why this year, I choose to begin a new and wonderful tradition! I don't want a creepy elf doll watching over me at night. Oh, sure, it's cute at first, but then just as you're about to open your gifts it turns into "My name is Talking Tina, and I don't like you." That's why I'm proud to announce to one and all a snappy replacement for Elf on the Shelf. Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, say hello to Servo on the Shelf!

Servo first appears on Thanksgiving, and stays till Christmas Eve! Every night, he heads back home to the Satellite of Love.

Once there, he reports to Crow on the behavior of those around him. Why Crow? Because, as we all know, Crow is the one who decides who lives and who dies.

Crow rewards the good people with treats and joys that would make an elf that wants to be a dentist cry! The bad children? They have to sit in the frankenforcer while watching "Manos: The Hands of Fate."

Together this team will form a super force that insures that this will truly be The Swayzeist Christmas of them all!


  1. AWESOME! So now instead of wearing my tinfoil hat and battling the kaiser roll, you will find me in the faint glow of the Christmas tree lights with a straw in a bottle of Absolut tainted with OJ! Egggselllent!! wheee!


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