Skip to main content

Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard

It began with soreness in the back of my throat on the right side. “Drainage, again” I thought to myself. As a perpetual sinus sufferer, this was nothing new to me. So I did what I always do at the first sign of any nasal activities. I took over the counter medication and didn't think any more of it. Usually it'll take a day or two then whatever it is that's invaded my nose will go away, but not this time. What I thought was just sinus turned into a full blown cold, and there was no sign it was getting better. The day after I went through four boxes of tissues in one day, I knew it was time to break down and see the doctor.

Early on a Saturday morning I went to the urgent care clinic. I walked in, went to the check in window, told them why I had arrived, and was given paperwork to fill out. Many people wanted to get in and get out early, so the place was full of about six or seven other people in various states of misery. I scanned the room and looked for a seat that was near the least populated area, then claimed it as my own. I began going over the paperwork, praying that I could remember all the various details of my medical data. It'd be a shame if I forgot I was allergic to something, then ended up running around town forcing people to listen to me sing “Heart of Glass” because I took the wrong meds.

As I sat there working on the paperwork, I heard the door open, and I looked up to see an interesting couple walk in. They were older people, she had one of those odd haircuts that makes you question who told her that it was a good idea. He, well, he looked like an overly tan, sleazy version of Marvel comics impresario Stan Lee. His hair was thinning on the top, so he had grown it out on the sides to compensate. He wore dark sunglasses, with a button up shirt on with the upper three buttons undone. This was not the Stan Lee type you'd expect to see cameo in an Avengers movie. This was the Stan Lee that drove a windowless van and handed out Spider-Man comics laced with narcotics.

Creepy Stan Lee had the cadence of Jack Nicholson, but not the voice. It was an accent of a distinctly northern origin, but deep and husky. He'd sometimes let the ends of his words linger as he talked to the nurse at the reception desk. “Heyyyyy” he'd begin, “I was here last week and-uhhhhhhh, I'm still not over this, thinggggggg, whatever it is.” He'd try to joke as he got more paperwork to fill out “Ohhhhhh, I love paperwork. Guess I get a car at the end of thisssssssss?” Sleazy Lee then began to find his seat in the waiting room, he was walking in my direction, and I began praying with all my might that he wouldn't sit next to me. Thankfully, at the last moment, he turned left, and sat four seats down from me.

Just four seats down, his presence was still un-nerving. “Heyyyyyy, what is it with this co-payyyyyy?” I could hear him say, while his lady friend spoke in a thick, southern accent, and did her best to explain the world of medicine to him. After turning my own paperwork in, I was thankful that I was quickly called back to see the doctor. Turns out it wasn't so much a cold as much as it was a sinus infection, I was given a regiment of steroids and antibiotics to take, which means I am now qualified to run for Governor of California (whooo! I'll be here all week, folks!). Slowly, but surely, I began to return to normal, and quickly forgot of creepy Stan Lee.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Convincing Yourself You're Good.

I have Imposter Syndrome. Imposter Syndrome is that feeling that what you do isn't good enough, and that someone is gonna eventually figure out how woefully unqualified you are and kick you to the curb. One of the traits of my personality that I dislike is that I am way too hard on myself. Seriously, give my mind an inch and I will somehow figure out that I am the sole person responsible for the world's troubles.

Having Imposter Syndrome is kind of like playing the game Werewolf. My friends and I play a version of the game called One Night Ultimate Werewolf, in the game each player picks a card that gives them a specific role, either a villager or a werewolf, and the villagers all have distinct roles that they play on top of that--special abilities and the like. The object of the game is two fold, if you're a werewolf, you don't wanna be caught. If you're a village, you wanna catch the werewolves. Imposter Syndrome makes you feel like you're always in the role…

Where The Blues Are

I come to you again this week with another pair of blu-rays from those master celluloid handlers at Warner Archive. First up we have 1960’s “Where The Boys Are,” a defining teen picture of the era by MGM, and the film largely responsible for kicking off the whole cycle of 1960s beach films. The other is 1955’s “Pete Kelly’s Blues” a film starring, produced, and directed by Jack Webb--TV’s Joe Friday. Part of a deal Webb had made with Warner Brothers when he was setting up the original big screen version of “Dragnet” in the ‘50s. 
“Where The Boys Are” was set for the screen before the book it was based on had been released. Producer Joe Pasternak snatched up the rights to the book by Glendon Swarthout, which was originally titled “Unholy Spring.” Pasternak, strongly feeling “Where The Boys Are” would be the better title, persuaded Swarthout to change the book’s title. Pasternak also felt he could use the film as a starring vehicle for one of the stars of MGM’s record label, Connie Franc…


Picture it! Scilly, 1922! OK, actually Andy Ross’s Childhood Bedroom 1993. I had been given as a gift the dream attachment for my beloved Sega Genesis, the amazing Sega CD. For those of you young children who have only grown up in the era of XBox and Playstation, it may seem strange that there was once a time when the idea of playing a video game off of a compact disc was mind blowing. But it was, and I was fully ready to have my mind blown. To use a slogan of Sega’s ads of the era, I was ready to enter “The Next Level.”

The Sega CD model I had was the second one, the smaller model designed to go with the slimmer Genesis that had been introduced to the market. I had the first Genesis, the larger one, but the Sega CD came with an extension block that allowed it to partner it on the original model. You attached the Sega CD to your Genesis by a special connector on the side of system. The Sega CD came with a game to get you going, as was the norm with gaming systems at the time. The game …