Skip to main content

Prudent Events From the Last PTA Meeting


7:00 PM: Meeting called to order, pledge of allegiance held. 

7:05 PM: The source of the squeaking sound was determined to be the science class pet ferret loose in the ceiling—Mr. Fiveash called to deal with situation. 

7:08 PM: Overwhelming majority votes to defund high school chorus trip to New York City. 

7:09 PM: Overwhelming majority votes to fund water polo team trip to Disneyland. 

7:15 PM: Meeting opened up to questions from parents. 

7:17 PM: Concerned parent asks PTA “Why are we teaching science to our children? Don’t you understand you are placing them in league with the devil?” 

7:18 PM: Citizen who supports the question asked by the parent speaks out of turn, demands to know the size of the PTA Chairperson’s hands. 

7:19 PM: Awkward silence falls upon the room. 

7:25 PM: Bored with the meeting, one PTA board member asks if it would be possible to postpone the rest of that day’s business, and play with a parachute from the PE class. 

7:26 PM: PTA votes on who will go and retrieve the parachute from the PE class. 

7:28 PM: Member voted to retrieve parachute returns and informs meeting gym door is locked. Asks if anyone has a bobby pin. 

7:30 PM: As parachute is brought into meeting area, chairs are cleared and put away. 

7:50 PM: After twenty minutes of parachute play, members of the school board arrive and try to stop it. Someone in the room was broadcasting the fun on Facebook. 

7:52 PM: As word of the meeting’s play break spreads on social media, and the unsuccessful attempts to stop it, more teachers and area principals arrive. 

7:54 PM: The PTA chairperson refuses to stop the parachute play, states “I’ve never felt so alive!” 

7:55 PM: A computer class student hacks the PA system and uses it to play Beyonce. 

7:56 PM: Dance party breaks out under the parachute. 

7:58 PM: The school superintendent arrives, he is seen phoning the police. 

7:59 PM: Angry parent, who approves of the fun dance party, squeezes the contents of a Capri Sun at the superintendent. 

8:01 PM: Police arrive, they attempt to break up the party. PTA Chairperson refuses to stop, punches officer in the face as they attempt to remove them from the parachute. 

8:02 PM: PTA Chairperson is arrested for assaulting a police officer. 

8:05 PM: Police have arrested most of the PTA board, a number of the meeting attendants, while many others have fled. 

8:10 PM: Local media begins to salivate over the biggest story of the year. 

8:20 PM: Jailed together, those responsible for the parachute fun stage a protest singing of “The Times They Are A-Changin’.” 

8:45 PM: All are released, resignation letters are drawn. 

9:00 PM: Press releases for the following day are prepared. 

This concludes the events of the last PTA meeting.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Where The Blues Are

I come to you again this week with another pair of blu-rays from those master celluloid handlers at Warner Archive. First up we have 1960’s “Where The Boys Are,” a defining teen picture of the era by MGM, and the film largely responsible for kicking off the whole cycle of 1960s beach films. The other is 1955’s “Pete Kelly’s Blues” a film starring, produced, and directed by Jack Webb--TV’s Joe Friday. Part of a deal Webb had made with Warner Brothers when he was setting up the original big screen version of “Dragnet” in the ‘50s. 
“Where The Boys Are” was set for the screen before the book it was based on had been released. Producer Joe Pasternak snatched up the rights to the book by Glendon Swarthout, which was originally titled “Unholy Spring.” Pasternak, strongly feeling “Where The Boys Are” would be the better title, persuaded Swarthout to change the book’s title. Pasternak also felt he could use the film as a starring vehicle for one of the stars of MGM’s record label, Connie Franc…

Red, White, and Blaine

In 1996 Christopher Guest returned to the mockumentary genre with his look at regional theater “Waiting for Guffman.” Guest, most famously, being one-third of the fictional rock band Spinal Tap in the perhaps the best mockumentary ever made, “This is Spinal Tap.” “Guffman” also kicks off the cycle of Christopher Guest directed mockumentaries. The films all using the same group of actors, and all written by Guest with Eugene Levy, both of whom also act in the films. Guest’s films are largely improved by the actors, with the written material serving as an outline for the film’s story.

“Guffman” takes place in the fictional town of Blaine, Missouri—a small town that is celebrating its 150th anniversary. Big dreamer and New York Transplant, Corky St. Clair (Guest) has created a musical celebration of the town called “Red, White, and Blaine.” The show within the show appears towards the end of the film, Guest teamed up with his "Spinal Tap” cohorts, Michael McKean & Harry Shearer, …

Twelve-Nine-Three

Picture it! Scilly, 1922! OK, actually Andy Ross’s Childhood Bedroom 1993. I had been given as a gift the dream attachment for my beloved Sega Genesis, the amazing Sega CD. For those of you young children who have only grown up in the era of XBox and Playstation, it may seem strange that there was once a time when the idea of playing a video game off of a compact disc was mind blowing. But it was, and I was fully ready to have my mind blown. To use a slogan of Sega’s ads of the era, I was ready to enter “The Next Level.”

The Sega CD model I had was the second one, the smaller model designed to go with the slimmer Genesis that had been introduced to the market. I had the first Genesis, the larger one, but the Sega CD came with an extension block that allowed it to partner it on the original model. You attached the Sega CD to your Genesis by a special connector on the side of system. The Sega CD came with a game to get you going, as was the norm with gaming systems at the time. The game …